Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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