I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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