I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
