i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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