That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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