i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
