I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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