his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I would fuck him just for his dog
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
