dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
