To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
