I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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