it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
