this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
