I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
