I'm eating all of the evidence.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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