he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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