I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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