it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
