We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
