her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
