i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
