ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
