dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
