so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
