I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
