I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
