Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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