Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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