She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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