haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
