I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
