okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
