You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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