I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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