No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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