I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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