I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
