i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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