I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
