the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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