Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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