Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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