Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
