guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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