Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
