To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
