Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
