The maid of honor just puked.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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