Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
