Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
