Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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