My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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