I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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