he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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