you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need water and some morals
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
