Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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