you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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