I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
