Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Im part way to drunk.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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