It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
